There's a thing where I'm from. [Greed is moving out of the room if the sound of his clicking heels is anything to go by.] A country called Xing. Used to hold a festival around August.
Never got to see it myself, but a kid a bit older than you told me about it. Uh - [He's opening a door.] - eh, the name of it doesn't matter.
Food, fireworks, games, you name it. They had it. And given all the bullshi- [He snaps his teeth together.] - stuff that's been going on, I think it's about time we had a little bit of fun, don't you?
[Using his shoulder to pin the phone to his ear, the Sin lets out a huffy laugh.] It does, doesn't it? Just need to get people onboard. Y'know how they are. A lot of 'em still think they deserve some sort of punishment or something. Ah, well.
Think you can work your baking magic, kid? I know, askin' a lot here, but cooking isn't exactly my expertise. And from what I saw before, you've got a real talent for it.
Figured you would be. [He's gesturing wildly on his side, making his bracelets clack together.] Make a list, and I'll get you what you need.
[A beat, and Greed hums to himself. Good question.] Ehh, how much red fabric can you get? Or streamers? And if you can find anything with a dragon and a bird on it, let me know. Don't suppose you're good with that too, are you? Decorating, I mean.
[There's crinkling of paper, followed by the slight scratches of a pencil. Sounds like Ruby's prepared for this.]
"Red fabric, streamers..." I'm sure there's somewhere in Heaven that sells reds. The dragon and the bird should be easy, I could make that if you wanted. [She's tapping her pencil against her chin, thinking. It doesn't quite translate through audio.] I actually did a lot of decorating whenever my friends and I had a party in the mansion... are we the only ones working on this?
[He hears the paper, and a smile wets his face. She's really good at this kind of stuff, isn't she?]
Oooh - ? Got a talent for that? Ha - ! Knew I was calling on the best this place has to offer. [Greed snaps his fingers, like he's had a great idea, and he's going to thank himself later. A personal high-five.] That's pretty amazing! If you can, I'd appreciate it. Call it ah, a little promise I owe someone.
[He leaves it at that.]
Well, I'm sure the rest of 'em wouldn't mind lending a hand. But yeah, for now, it'll just be the two of us.
[ Oh! Looks like someone left a gift at your door. It looks like a bag full of generic Christmas candy and... A skeleton cat plushie? ]
There's a note!
Hey, Ruby.
Thanks for the kind words over that crazy network thing the other day. Had to go to Hell to find the toy, but it took a while to find something that wasn't in poor condition or taste. Happy holidays, kid. Keep making this place a little brighter.
- Acht.
[Tayrey leaves a sturdy-looking adventurer's backpack at Ruby's door. When she opens it up, she'll find a variety of sweet spacer snacks, a silver compass, a glow in the dark marker pen, and some brightly colored long ribbons (no yellow or pink!)
There's a note wishing her 'peace and prosperity through the cold season'. It's unsigned, but there's clearly not much effort to conceal her identity.]
[There's a lot to say here, about the kindness of people she's met here, but Ruby can only really spend a moment hugging this new plushie and thanking her luck for this good fortune.]
[Never look a surprise door present in the mouth! And what a find - space snacks? A compass? Glow in the dark pen and some ribbons? She didn't know she needed them, but now she does!
Hm. Hm!! Thank you, mysterious note. She'll just have to give her thanks later on...]
[ Beetlejuice waits for Ruby as he reclines on the hood of an old smashed car. He's got his arms folded behind his head and one leg thrown over the other, his boot kicking to a tune inside his head. ]
[And that seems to be it, for now. It takes time for Ruby to show up - partially because she prepped a picnic basket for this excursion... partially because she wasn't so sure where this dump was - but she does find it! Panting, flapping her wings, she sets down by the car.]
[ When Ruby touches down, Beetlejuice cracks open an eye to peer over at her. ]
Glad you could make it! This is going to be your school until Michael stops making frownie faces at me.
[ He rolls off the car and lands on his feet. Then, he withdraws a four-cornered professor's cap (complete with tassle) from the depths of his jacket and sets it on his head. ]
[She can't help but feel slightly disappointed at Beetlejuice, or maybe she appreciates Michael putting in a word like that. Oh well, she can let it run off her back.]
[He takes the gun and leans down a little, turning it slowly in his hands.]
Most important part--here's the safety. If you're not planning on shooting anyone, keep this on. It's got a four pound trigger on it, but it can still go off.
[Beetlejuice just clucks his tongue. This is why he's a dog person.]
Maybe we oughtta get you a gun safe next. Or something that locks, at least. OKAY. If your cat's been shooting at people, you probably know the next thing--these suckers are loud and they kick. Now normally, people learn how to use guns with headphones but I don't think you're gonna damage your hearing since you're already dead.
[He lifts the gun and points it at an old microwave several feet away. He fires once. Twice. Each sharp report echoes off the metal trash around them. The third shot hits and shatters the microwave's glass.]
[That's fine!!! Opinions are valid!!! She'll never hate cats, though.
Ruby was about to comment that she technically wasn't dead, though she couldn't state that for whatever kind of existence this currently was, but it's the principal of the thing. But Beetlejuice wiped all that away with some fairly impressive trickshots.
At least, she thinks they're tricks. One even hits something, which must've been planned.]
You never know, kid. This is Hell. People are here for a reason.
[He passes the gun to her and ushers her to stand next to him. ]
Alright, hold that bad boy with both hands and for goodness sake keep both your eyes open. Don't worry about hitting anything right away, just focus on handling the kick. Let 'er rip!
➥ Audio
Never got to see it myself, but a kid a bit older than you told me about it. Uh - [He's opening a door.] - eh, the name of it doesn't matter.
Food, fireworks, games, you name it. They had it. And given all the bullshi- [He snaps his teeth together.] - stuff that's been going on, I think it's about time we had a little bit of fun, don't you?
Audio
[Greed's little slip-up sails over Ruby's head. She's all business now, audibly excited for this new experience.]
What would you like me to do? Organizing? Baking?
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Think you can work your baking magic, kid? I know, askin' a lot here, but cooking isn't exactly my expertise. And from what I saw before, you've got a real talent for it.
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[She definitely sounds sure of that.] Was there anything else I can help with?
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[A beat, and Greed hums to himself. Good question.] Ehh, how much red fabric can you get? Or streamers? And if you can find anything with a dragon and a bird on it, let me know. Don't suppose you're good with that too, are you? Decorating, I mean.
no subject
"Red fabric, streamers..." I'm sure there's somewhere in Heaven that sells reds. The dragon and the bird should be easy, I could make that if you wanted. [She's tapping her pencil against her chin, thinking. It doesn't quite translate through audio.] I actually did a lot of decorating whenever my friends and I had a party in the mansion... are we the only ones working on this?
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Oooh - ? Got a talent for that? Ha - ! Knew I was calling on the best this place has to offer. [Greed snaps his fingers, like he's had a great idea, and he's going to thank himself later. A personal high-five.] That's pretty amazing! If you can, I'd appreciate it. Call it ah, a little promise I owe someone.
[He leaves it at that.]
Well, I'm sure the rest of 'em wouldn't mind lending a hand. But yeah, for now, it'll just be the two of us.
crusty tag....
Aww shucks. [She's amused, like he's just saying that. But how nice!] Okay, it'll be a promise, and a secret. No letting anyone know, yet.
CHRISTMAS 2024
[ The card tucked under the ribbon reads: Merry Xmas Kid! - BJ ]
[ Inside are some striped socks, a package of ginger cookies, and a brand new glock.]
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Well, that's still sweet. Uhhhhhhhhhhh, she'll have to find a place to get rid of this.]
Christmas Gift!
There's a note!
IT'S GIFT EXCHANGE TIME
There's a note wishing her 'peace and prosperity through the cold season'. It's unsigned, but there's clearly not much effort to conceal her identity.]
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Hm. Hm!! Thank you, mysterious note. She'll just have to give her thanks later on...]
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[He pats something atop the bar once, knocking softly at the wood.] A little secret between us, then. Good. Let's keep it that way for the time being.
[Text] un: bioexorcist
i mean
wanna learn about gun safety????
[text] UN: WithRuby
Uh, hi!
Hm, gun safety does sound pretty important.
Especially since I finally got it away from my cat.
But who would teach me?
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Oh!
Well, I guess it would make sense. You being the one to give it to me, and all. You must know quite a bit about them.
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whadya say we go to the dump?
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[Except for them, ahahhaa....]
I'll get everything I need and be there, uh... soon! Is that good?
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[ LATER, AT THE DUMP... ]
[ Beetlejuice waits for Ruby as he reclines on the hood of an old smashed car. He's got his arms folded behind his head and one leg thrown over the other, his boot kicking to a tune inside his head. ]
I DIDNT FORGET THIS I PROMISE... ;-;
[And that seems to be it, for now. It takes time for Ruby to show up - partially because she prepped a picnic basket for this excursion... partially because she wasn't so sure where this dump was - but she does find it! Panting, flapping her wings, she sets down by the car.]
Phew! Huh... I made it.
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Glad you could make it! This is going to be your school until Michael stops making frownie faces at me.
[ He rolls off the car and lands on his feet. Then, he withdraws a four-cornered professor's cap (complete with tassle) from the depths of his jacket and sets it on his head. ]
Ready to learn?
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[She can't help but feel slightly disappointed at Beetlejuice, or maybe she appreciates Michael putting in a word like that. Oh well, she can let it run off her back.]
Sure am, uh, professor Beetlejuice!
[She's got the gun out and everything!]
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[He claps his hands together and ushers Ruby toward a little clearing. He sits down on an overturned fridge and holds a hand out. ]
Lemme see that and I'll show you how it works.
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[Good!! for both of them!! Surely.]
I'm sure there's plenty I could learn. [With some slight hesitation, she passes the weapon over to him.]
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[He takes the gun and leans down a little, turning it slowly in his hands.]
Most important part--here's the safety. If you're not planning on shooting anyone, keep this on. It's got a four pound trigger on it, but it can still go off.
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Safety. Got it. Too bad my cat figured that out before I did.
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Maybe we oughtta get you a gun safe next. Or something that locks, at least. OKAY. If your cat's been shooting at people, you probably know the next thing--these suckers are loud and they kick. Now normally, people learn how to use guns with headphones but I don't think you're gonna damage your hearing since you're already dead.
[He lifts the gun and points it at an old microwave several feet away. He fires once. Twice. Each sharp report echoes off the metal trash around them. The third shot hits and shatters the microwave's glass.]
FIRST TRY!
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Ruby was about to comment that she technically wasn't dead, though she couldn't state that for whatever kind of existence this currently was, but it's the principal of the thing. But Beetlejuice wiped all that away with some fairly impressive trickshots.
At least, she thinks they're tricks. One even hits something, which must've been planned.]
...Wow! [Some light applause.] Amazing.
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[Beetlejuice preens under Ruby's praise as it only inflates his already bloated ego.]
And with just a few short lessons, you'll be able to do the same!
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[Is there a greater message here about guns being a dangerous accessible weapon for people who probably shouldn't have them?
Nah, don't worry about it.]
Do you really think I'll have to use it?
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[He passes the gun to her and ushers her to stand next to him. ]
Alright, hold that bad boy with both hands and for goodness sake keep both your eyes open. Don't worry about hitting anything right away, just focus on handling the kick. Let 'er rip!