Heckingame Inbox

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"Hi! This is Ruby Gloom. Be sure to leave a message!"

Comments

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Oh, so that's why we're doing this?

[She can't help but feel slightly disappointed at Beetlejuice, or maybe she appreciates Michael putting in a word like that. Oh well, she can let it run off her back.]

Sure am, uh, professor Beetlejuice!

[She's got the gun out and everything!]

[bugbeverage]

Well I thought you already knew how to use one, but Michael insists it's for safety reasons. So!

[He claps his hands together and ushers Ruby toward a little clearing. He sits down on an overturned fridge and holds a hand out. ]

Lemme see that and I'll show you how it works.

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I really don't... But this is good!

[Good!! for both of them!! Surely.]

I'm sure there's plenty I could learn. [With some slight hesitation, she passes the weapon over to him.]

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Boy is there!

[He takes the gun and leans down a little, turning it slowly in his hands.]

Most important part--here's the safety. If you're not planning on shooting anyone, keep this on. It's got a four pound trigger on it, but it can still go off.

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[Ruby jots down some notes on a notepad - where did she get that? Doesn't matter. - she's dutiful about this particular lesson especially.]

Safety. Got it. Too bad my cat figured that out before I did.

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[Beetlejuice just clucks his tongue. This is why he's a dog person.]

Maybe we oughtta get you a gun safe next. Or something that locks, at least. OKAY. If your cat's been shooting at people, you probably know the next thing--these suckers are loud and they kick. Now normally, people learn how to use guns with headphones but I don't think you're gonna damage your hearing since you're already dead.

[He lifts the gun and points it at an old microwave several feet away. He fires once. Twice. Each sharp report echoes off the metal trash around them. The third shot hits and shatters the microwave's glass.]

FIRST TRY!

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[That's fine!!! Opinions are valid!!! She'll never hate cats, though.

Ruby was about to comment that she technically wasn't dead, though she couldn't state that for whatever kind of existence this currently was, but it's the principal of the thing. But Beetlejuice wiped all that away with some fairly impressive trickshots.

At least, she thinks they're tricks. One even hits something, which must've been planned.]

...Wow! [Some light applause.] Amazing.

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[Oh, absolutely planned!]

[Beetlejuice preens under Ruby's praise as it only inflates his already bloated ego.]

And with just a few short lessons, you'll be able to do the same!

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Gee, I can't believe it's so... so easy.

[Is there a greater message here about guns being a dangerous accessible weapon for people who probably shouldn't have them?

Nah, don't worry about it.]

Do you really think I'll have to use it?

[bugbeverage]

You never know, kid. This is Hell. People are here for a reason.

[He passes the gun to her and ushers her to stand next to him. ]

Alright, hold that bad boy with both hands and for goodness sake keep both your eyes open. Don't worry about hitting anything right away, just focus on handling the kick. Let 'er rip!